About ten years or so ago, I went to church for the first time. I’ll be honest – I didn’t have a clue what to make of it. Who were all these insanely happy, welcoming people? WHY were they so happy!?
And who on earth was that crazy guy at the front?! He seemed so young, so engaged, so energised, so kind of supernaturally distant yet at the same time just so… normal.
Yep, church was weird. But that was ok. I was happily, even back then, also a little bit weird, in that I’d of course I was always curious, always eager to know about things, people, the ways of the world!
The kind of questioning that in a world where everyone is taught not to rock the boat, to follow orders, automatically gets you labelled as different, in some way, though they can never quite define how, can they!
Who would have known, that a few short months later, I’d be standing a few rows back, a few days after losing my baby, looking into the kind eyes of the crazy guy at the front, and thinking, literally,
Thank God You’re Here.
Literally! Thanking God for the preacher. I know it sounds ridiculous, and a bit out there, but right there and then there was no other way to describe what I felt – I just felt so incredibly thankful that someone was there, standing in their truth, standing solid on solid ground! while my entire world was swimming in chaos and overwhelm.
I didn’t feel particularly shattered, to be honest, I think I was in that state of shellshocked numbness your brain goes into as it heads down the path marked Survival. I just remember being in that church, feeling the plastic seat beneath me, not paying any attention to the words whatsoever and just feeling so LOVED!
Like someone cared enough to show up on a Sunday morning, for me. And for others like me. No matter how messy I was at that point.
And they did the same thing during the week.
The same thing during the weekend away I went on.
They kept showing up for me. Even when I eventually did break down in tears. Even when I was entirely broken. Even when I was a physical, human mess as I came to realisations about my past, truths about abandonment, worked my way through my history of eating disorders, chaotic relationships, and more –
still, there was that crazy guy at the front! well actually there were three of them, and their beautiful wives, leading me through it all.
Showing up to their message.
Showing up for prayer.
Showing up for whatever came through them.
Showing up for their own mess, even.
They talked about relationships. Openly made big, giant mistakes in their own marriages, parenting, lives. They shared it all. Whatever they felt called to talk about. There it was, right there for me.
And of course! they get paid to do so. They get paid to show up and share that message – and why shouldn’t they!? God doesn’t desire poverty for anybody!
But they didn’t show up and deliver that message because they were paid to be there, or because it was the easy choice! They’d walked away from high-flying jobs in the city, faced parental disapproval, let alone the many other challenges that come when you decide to live, breathe, speak your truth, and do it in so public a way you’re constantly being held on a pedestal of perfection which will all, ultimately, always come crashing down as you mess it up in very human fashion!
It must have been so tough, at times. But there they were, holding me regardless.
Showing up for me, and everyone else, on fire sometimes, I could literally see energy pouring through them
Showing up for the message, no matter what the City, their parents, their spouses, friends, or anybody else had to say about it.
There they were.
And no! in case you were wondering, this isn’t a message about how you need to get your ass into church! There are bad churches, good churches, as of course they are only a human representation and therefore entirely as messy as we are.
But what I wanted you to share was this –
If you’re born as a messenger, a LEADER!
Your ONE job
Your only job
is to show up as nothing less than the preacher that you are.
And I DID of course hesitate to share this message, wondering briefly for a second Ohhhh is everyone going to think she’s gone on some kind of God-rant, she’s losing the plot and yep! you know – I knew!- you have to show up for the message anyway!
The truth of the thing is this – that little social media sandbox you keep playing in? those little tiptoes in, and out, into saying what you really think, of showing up, of following the calls to fun and to message sharing and to speaking out regardless of what anybody has to say about it!?
is you PLAYING at being the preacher.
And the sad part is, right now, there is someone sitting in that front row, waiting for you to show up.
Waiting for you to breathe energy out into the world
Waiting for your life force, your vision, your messages, to come, and reach them, and lift them just that little bit higher.
Oh, and if you think this one is just for the coaches? Those who truly desire to uplift other people!? Then your self-esteem is standing in the way of your work, your message, your purpose and your future, not to mention those who really need you.
I’m talking to you.
You with a vision. You with the dreams. You who keep saying yes! you’re doing it this time! this is it this time! let’s smash it!
and then continue to shrink away from being the absolute leader you’re called to be, standing up, BEING THERE, in all your glorious truth, in all your gifts, in all your anointed leadership! –
And instead just allowing yourself to wither away into the cloaks of cynicism, criticism, fear and loathing.
Because even when you’re not choosing – you are.
And if you’re not choosing to be the messenger, to stand up when called, to allow the energy to rush through you and indeed risk being that one they all call ‘unconventional’ at best, and ‘the mad crazy preacher’
Then what are you really doing here, really?
If you’re standing up for what you know, believe in, trust, and the absolute truth of the thing that you’re doing, if you’re going to do ANYTHING with any passion, life, vigour, energy at all, LET ALONE entering into supernatural states of energy, flow, and success that’s fully available to you! –
Then you’re going to have to become totally fine with being the crazy preacher at the front.
So are you there then? Time to stand at the front, ready to receive and share whatever is coming to and through you, as if your life depends on it! Let alone your business.
And you know – maybe if you think YOUR life doesn’t depend on it, someone else’s does. I’ll never forget one of the weddings I photographed as a photographer long long ago, before I evolved into my current work – where the father of the bride had a heart attack and passed away on the way to the wedding. The bride was my true hero that day. She carried on and showed up regardless! But afterwards, I realised how precious those photos were of that day. ‘Just’ a photographer, but I’d captured the only great shot of the bride and her mother, before her mum left the wedding to get to the hospital. A priceless memory that could never be captured again.
This isn’t about what you do, it’s about how you do it – and who you’re doing it for.
I’ll happily be the crazy preacher until the day I die, whether I’m riffing about business or life or spirit or whatever it is, because I know exactly what it is I’m here for, and exactly what I’m designed to do, and I will show up and share my message over and over and over again until people can’t escape it, and for you, well, you have the choice for you too! Do you know what you’re here for!? Then –
Be the crazy preacher, or die with your message stuck inside of you.
As always – this is not a dress rehearsal.