When I was 16, I got a taxi to school to collect my exam results. I remember not being too bothered about what the results were, even then I kind of knew that I was never going to need them to create the life that I wanted and therefore they were mildly irrelevant HOWEVER I also had butterflies in my stomach purely because of the pressure I’d learned to feel around them.
My taxi got stuck in traffic and I got there around ten minutes later than everyone else, and when I arrived into the main court area outside of the main hall where you collected your results I could see people everywhere hugging and crying and huddled in groups talking; faces of elation and devastation. LOL 15/ 16 year olds, so dramatic! Or maybe just a response to the way most of us are taught exams and academia are everything –
Anyway, as I made my way to the entrance of the hall one of my friends came rushing towards me and I remember smiling at her before looking at her face and seeing she had turned pink and had tears around her eyes and she shouted at me, in full view of everyone –
It’s just SO unfair! You got an A, and you don’t even come to school!
Of course I had no idea what she was talking about except a slight rush of excitement that I MAYBE got an A, and I asked her how she knew that and she burst out I SAW YOUR NAME ON THE PAPER before rushing off.
I didn’t know what to say anyway, I think I kind of mumbled sorry! before I headed into the hall, where I found out I had not only passed all my exams, but got 5 As and an A*.
Which, considering I had 84% NON attendance at school, I consider pretty spectacular 🙂
And this is where I began to learn that actually, despite the fact I had NOT shown up daily, done the work they told me to daily, and had all around basically tried to find shortcuts around everything ‘did you even read the text!?’ no, but I read the bits I needed to know inside out in order to get my A*, thank YOU very much- for the whole of my last two years at school, and instead spent most of my last year waitressing and earning a shedload of money in tips instead of being in school –
Despite being wildly inconsistent in terms of how I ‘showed up’ – I still got the results.
Which means, for you, and something I feel called to share with you today as this has been on my mind lately –
You don’t have to play the game by their rules in order to achieve the results you want.
So while I had been, on the surface of things at least, entirely inconsistent
What I had actually applied myself to was what mattered! In this case the study of memory retention! I’m not even joking. I knew that key to passing my exams would be the facts I could remember and apply, so I studied EVERYTHING I could get my hands on around how to enhance and increase my memory! Yep, mindset work even all the way back then, though I didn’t know it at the time!
While everyone else was in school learning in that prescribed (and arguably entirely unnatural way) I was having a lie-in, having successfully persuaded my mum yet again I was sick, or pretending to go to school but actually waiting until everyone had left the house so that I could go back in, I’m SURE my mum knew but thankfully she was mostly majorly liberal and allowed me to do life in my way and I’m so thankful for that! – and after my lie-in I’d hang around, eating snacks and making flashcards which I took everywhere with me – finding audio tapes on my subject to listen to at night so I could subliminally program my mind – even then I was into the power of our subconscious! –
and generally, finding smart ways to get the results I wanted in a way that suited ME, not by following prescribed systems!
which I can only assume, is why I flew through my exams when even my teachers had me written off as a failure who was going to flunk every single one.
The exact same thing happened at college, where I was predicted 3 F’s, and not only got 3 straight A’s but actually registered for another exam and flew through that with an A as well, despite only having attended a single ONE of the classes!
So really –
It’s always been in me to find the smart way to do things, the ways that work for me! So I might not always show up on Instagram consistently, day in day out for example, yet here I am as a coach who has been a coach now for almost FIVE YEARS, and who is making such a consistent income every month from my business + practice that I get to enable my husband to follow his dreams, fly us all around the world as a digital nomad homeschool family, living in beautiful dream houses like our chateau in France and our condo in Thailand!
And really, for those of us that are the daydreamers, entrepreneurial creative spirits who have hundreds of ideas that pour from us on a regular basis, always challenging, always exploring, nevermind whether we have kids in tow and sure as not really caring what our classmates have to say about it –
The ONLY time you will fall down is when you try to push yourself into systems you are simply not made for. It’s why despite having consistent income I’ve fallen down so many times – I even have debt from where I fell into a hole of fear a few years back and stopped believing in my own superpowers and ability to make things happen and instead for some reason (well, FEAR being the reason) started to set up some kind of VERY strategic, VERY systematic ‘automated webinar funnel selling one thing to one audience to make the monies’. And no wonder then, the monies did not flow, and the gods of abundance did not shower me with their joy.
How on earth could they, when your joy is NOT found in the way of doing things like they do, like the world does, but in finding your way, a better way, which to the WORLD might seem entirely scrappy and chaotic and non-committal but actually!
When you look at it
Consistent, focussed, and disciplined!
those flashcards? never left my side. They were with me at every bus stop wait, every break I had during my waitressing shift, every meal even!
No wonder then I was able to write my first books while running a business while having two kids under two with zero childcare, grow my business and sell it to silicon valley, start another one, not to mention the countless other ones I explored and played with and followed! Not to mention the countless online courses, build a mailing list of over 20K people before I deleted it, get featured in countless publications and participate in goodness knows what else online – not to mention 3 years homeschooling and ten years of marriage so far, well, those things take some level of commitment and consistency you know!
Not bad for someone who
because the truth is
You’re right! People like us simply aren’t ‘there’ in the way people expect us to be. And no amount of ‘visibility coaching’ really, can persuade us otherwise –
And then suddenly
As if by magic
We are the ones who spring up with the A stars
The best selling books
The multi 6 figure incomes
And isn’t it just so UNFAIR then how we are able to do that?
Or really isn’t it just so FAIR, actually!
Who REALLY did the work?
You think it was easy for me to see my friend’s tears? I felt like sick and sad, I just felt so sad for her! You think it’s EASY to ignore the call to social media every morning, to get up at 5am like I’m currently doing, to write my books day in day out even though I know I’ll probably ditch half of them and MAYBE I ‘should’ be spending time on what they say!
instead! the systems! the funnels! the visibility! they all say,
like my teachers used to try to force me to come to class. ‘You’ll be in detention for months’ is never a good thing to say to a child skipping school by the way, because they’ll most likely just also skip the detention and for good reason, because they think punishment is an entirely non useful way to learn anything whatsoever and certainly not conducive to loving learning! What if instead we even begin to consider the possibility that what ELSE a child is doing when they’re not at school MIGHT be more valuable!??
What you are doing INSTEAD OF ‘the work’ is entirely more valuable… for you?
Which after all, is why we get into business in the first place isn’t it, for that freedom, for that escape of being told to clock in at 9am on the dot, told when to eat, told when to vacation, told what to earn?
What, you think you came here just for the money, for the creativity!? Part of being in business is the sheer joy your soul feels at even the slightest hint of freedom from doing things the way they demand.
And so it’s not, actually, that you aren’t there – wherever there is, school, socials, in your group, wherever you feel its slightly not ok you’re not showing up because of the giant hoo ha around having to be there!
In fact, you ARE there, aren’t you?
I mean if you weren’t showing up for your art daily
If you weren’t showing up for your creativity daily
If you weren’t showing up for your journal daily
For your message daily
Or whatever else lights you up from within
Well, than, we might have a problem.
Unless of course you’d come to believe –
That those things are NOT the things you should be showing up for, and you’re slowly allowing yourself to be tightened in the boa like coils of all the things the world tells you that you should be doing instead?
Back to the socials you go then! Better show up, and don’t dare be late!
You could just dare to believe
You could dare to SEE even
where you are committed, where you are showing up, where you are visible even – as being of far greater importance
And trusting that if you follow that – your way- you will receive the results you desire?
And stop this flaky back and forth business where you beat yourself up for not ‘showing up’ and so you halfheartedly ‘show up’ in the way they demand knowing you’d MUCH rather be devoting all your energy to the things that for you feel easy, fun, kind of GUILTY even at it being this easy? and therefore…
quite naturally then
The results coming just as easily.
But of course then, somewhat ironically! but really not at all – you need to know that to get there, to get the consistent, committed results
You’re going to need to commit
And show up consistently
To one, or the other.
What’s it going to be?
This is not a dress rehearsal.